SAMUI'S BEACH REPUBLIC ANNOUNCES END OF THE WORLD PARTY, AND EARTH-SHATTERING DEALS ON 'MAYAN PLAY & STAY' ESCAPES
"Beach Republic will be serving Mayan Mistresses all night long, provided the earth still exists." Tim Dean-Smith, Founder
KOH SAMUI, THAILAND - Beach Republic this week announced the party to end all parties based on ancient Mayan predictions that the world will cease to exist on December 21, 2012.
Thailand's original Beach Club also unveiled three and four night 'Mayan Play & Stay' packages from just THB 9,999 for stays between December19 to 24, 2012 for those who wanted to prepare for the last days at the last word in chilled beach clubbing.
The offer includes accommodation in a Club Suite, free flow 'Mayan Mistresses' and other selected beverages at the End of the World Party, complimentary airport transfers and a 60 minute 'Mayan Meltdown Massage' to relieve the stress of the end times.
Beach Republic Founder Tim Dean-Smith called on all Beach Republic citizens to converge at the Lamai Beach conclave of cool to keep watch on whether the fateful eve proves to be the third planet's grand finale.
"It Mayan it may not," said Mr Dean-Smith. "But to all of Beach Republic citizens and anyone who believes in the inalienable right to party, I say this: If the world ends, the drinks are on us. So the end of the world is not the end of the world."
While revellers await the impending apocalypse, Beach Republic will be serving up doomsday drinks, Mayan-inspired munchies and eschatological tunage from Special Guest DJs Absolud and Simon Solo, followed by what might be the swansong set of resident mix-mistress DJ Petruschka.
Mr Dean-Smith said the THB200 ticket price could leave Beach Republic in ruins whether the world ends or not. "That covers a tapas buffet with some inspiration from the Mayans, live cooking stations, entertainment, fireworks and your choice of one beer, glass of wine or an authentic Mayan Mistress cocktail."
diffordsguide.com, the world's most comprehensive cocktail guide and "home of the discerning drinker", describes the Mayan cocktail as "an implausible ménage à trois: coffee, tequila and pineapple, served long."
Beach Republic will be serving Mayan Mistresses all night long, provided the earth still exists, along with its upscale cousin, the Mayan, comprising a shot and a half of Omeca Altos 100% agave tequila (reposado), half a shot of Kahlúa coffee liqueur, topped off with fresh-pressed pineapple juice. "Shake all ingredients with ice and strain into an ice-filled Old Fashioned glass, garnished with coffee beans," notes Diffords Guide.
Daring revellers might also care to try the Michelada, a spicy tipple that is mother's milk for modern Mayans, which is to say southern Mexicans. This beer that sounds more like a dance craze could induce some booty-shaking: it consists of cerveza with lime, coarse salt, pepper, and shots of Tabasco or Worcestershire sauce.
Beach Republic's general manager Daniel Oredsson said the world owed the Mayans a massive culinary debt of gratitude: besides towering citadels, doomsday predictions and the odd human sacrifice, the Mayans also gave the world chocolate, guacamole, salsa, vanilla and tacos.
"We are prepared to go out with a bang," Mr Oredsson said. "Personally I'd prefer it if the world doesn't end. That way Beach Republic can continue our 'velvet revolution' in food, grooves and moods. It would also avoid the destruction of our handmade furniture from antique woods shaped by northern Thailand and Balinese master-craftsmen and our cellar of the finest rosé wines from Provence and beyond."
Mr Dean-Smith said the Mayan madness was based on December 21, 2012 being denoted as the end date of the 5,125-year-long cycle of the Mesoamerican Long Count Calender. "Theories as to how the world will end include being sucked into a black hole, an asteroid collision, a sudden reversal of the earth's poles, an outbreak of solar flares, or one more Roland Emmerich movie," he said.
"NASA scientists, however, say these theories range from extremely unlikely to impossible. Their study of the Mayan calendar concluded the world would not end and that it was more likely the Mayans got bored and gave up counting, or that the wheel would simply start again.
"There's only one way to find out for sure. See you at Beach Republic for the end of the world... or at the very least, a party that will go down in Koh Samui legend."
'MAYAN PLAY & STAY' PACKAGE:
3 Nights, 2 Days - 9,999 Baht 4 Nights, 3 Days 12,999 Baht
BEACH REPUBLIC PRESENTS FIVE EARTH-SHATTERINGLY IMPORTANT FACTS ABOUT THE MAYANS
1. Death By Chocolate
Over 3,000 years ago the Mayans discovered and perfected the "food of the gods," made from the toasted, fermented seeds of the cacao tree, and arguably the New World's greatest gift to civilization. More than a bittersweet tipple, it was a sacred brew the Mayans believed formed a bridge between heaven and earth.
2. Less Than Zero
The Mayans were no mugs as mathematicians. Long before Pythagoras was a glint in his father's eye, the Mayans had developed the concept of zero and created a 365-day solar calendar that varies by less than 2 seconds from the one we use today.
3. Vanilla Sex
The elixir from this edible orchid was a common flavouring for Mayan chocolate drinks by the 1500s, and was adopted by the Aztecs, who introduced it to the conquistador Cortes. The jungles of Southern Mexico remain the only place on earth the vanilla or "little pod'' planifolia orchid grows wild, pollinated by native non-stinging bees that produce today's prized Maya honey.
4. Old Spice
Chiles were being cultivated by the Mayans back in the red-eyed mists of time, and possibly as long as 7,500 years ago. Christopher Columbus famously mistook them for relatives of black pepper, native to Southeast Asia, but nevertheless he gets credit for spreading the fiery little fellows to the world and inducing countless teary cries for water. Along with other South American exports, the chile releases endorphins, increases the heart rate, stimulates the mind and induces euphoria.
5. Hanging Tree
Another native of southern Mexico, the avocado was prized by the Mayans as an aphrodisiac. The name we know the nutty fruit by today derives from the Aztec word "ahuacatl'', or "testicle''. When Europeans encountered the avocado in the 19th century, growers had to stage a campaign to convince people that supping on its buttery flesh would not turn them into raving rapists or nymphomaniacs.
Koh Samui's premier beach destination has arrived! Located on Lamai Beach, Beach Republic stands apart from the crowd with a unique feel and culture of its very own. Marrying a contemporary and hip Mediterranean beach lifestyle with a twist of irreverent fun, Beach Republic is instantly sexy, sophisticated and cosmopolitan. The self-contained exclusive destination consists of the stunning Ocean Club and Restaurant, the indulgent Beach Republic Asian Fusion Spa, and Beach Republic The Residences - a collection of private Samui pool villas, deluxe suites, and penthouse sky pool villas. A new Republic has been born. Become a Beach Republic citizen today.